Emotional abuse can be detrimental to your confidence and self-esteem. The difficult part of being a victim of emotional abuse is that it is difficult to tell whether or not it is happening. Unlike physical abuse, the signs of emotional abuse are not nearly as apparent as the signs of physical abuse. Research reveals that emotional abuse can affect someone just as much as physical, and even sexual abuse. Following 846 at risk children for 14 years shows that the psychological threat to safety and security is the most common type of abuse.
Emotional abuse is so harmful because of its negative effects on self-esteem. Actions, attitudes, and words that mean to degrade others are the primary form of emotional abuse, and the abuser often uses it to manipulate others, leaving them feeling confused and powerless. Several studies have also shown that emotional abuse is equally distributed between men and women, and can happen in any relationship. Here are five warning signs of an emotionally abusive relationship:
- They try to be in control of everything including your actions – These people have probably bossed around others for so long and have never been confronted for it. Stand up for yourself and let them know that they make you feel uncomfortable and taken advantage of. Even if they deny their behavior or try to turn it back around on you, at least you can rest easy knowing you actually defended yourself and stood up for the truth. Maybe they will begin to change their tune if you struck a nerve with them; after all, once they scare everyone away, they will have no one to manipulate any more.
- They try to justify their unhappiness by reminding you of something YOU did – Don’t ever let their insults or outbursts get inside your head; laugh at them or just entertain the thoughts without agreeing with them. If you know what kind of person you are and have a strong sense of self-worth, nothing they say will ever bring you down.
- They constantly remind you of your shortcomings and failures – An emotional manipulator can completely tarnish your otherwise peppy mood, so make sure you restore yourself with uplifting affirmations and messages during the day. They thrive on seeing your mood go down the drain, so when they see you unaffected by their brash remarks, they won’t have a reason to torment you any longer. Get smart about protecting yourself from their wrath, and they may soon get discouraged from using you as their emotional toy.
- They accuse you of things that are not true, so you are forced to prove your love – This may sound easier said than done, especially if they are acting everything but authentic. Look for the moment they completely steamroll your emotions, and slowly back away from the relationship. Make sure to let them know your boundaries. Emotionally abusive people constantly look for their next victim, and if you must talk to them, be civil – but don’t let it go any further than that, for your own protections sake. Remember that this is not your fault, and there’s nothing wrong with recognizing this for what it is – abuse!
- They do not value your feelings and often will tell you that you are wrong – While this may seem a little overboard, emotional manipulators have a habit of making you look like the bad guy, and twisting their words to fit any agenda. You might actually start to believe sometimes that you have done something wrong, when in reality, you have fallen victim to their terrible scheme. To make sure you can actually show them what they said in prior conversations, jot down any details you think they might conveniently change later in order to justify their behavior. They may also try to convince you they never set a certain thing, but you can actually prove they did with your notes you take.
While you may recognize these 5 signs, do yourself a favor – don’t hang around trying to convince them to change. Emotionally abusive people will not change until they are ready to. There is no reason to hang around and waste YOUR life waiting for that change. Acknowledge your worth and move on. ~Power of Positivity