Did you know Empaths, or highly sensitive people, make up 15 – 20% of the population? According to Dr. Elaine Aron, the psychologist who coined the phrase “highly sensitive person,” empaths actually have this trait from birth, and it can be found in over 100 species, including horses, birds, fruit flies, and primates. Dr. Aaron pioneered the research in the field of sensitivity, and continues to do research in this area of psychology.
Now, if you identify as an empath you probably feel quite misunderstood in this hectic, fast-paced world where no one seems to notice the subtleties you pick up on. You feel that you absorb energies far too easily, and can get overwhelmed by modern society very quickly. People might often tell you to “stop being so sensitive,” but you get tired of hearing it because you don’t know how to change your innate traits. And, you shouldn’t have to. However, you also shouldn’t allow people to treat you like a doormat, because that doesn’t serve your best interest either.
Because we know the plight of the empath, we figured we would make this short list to help out those who feel they could use some assistance in becoming more outspoken and direct, without being rude. Here are 8 ways for empaths to take their energy back:
- Don’t be afraid to say no – Many times, empaths feel they can’t maintain their sensitivity while also speaking up for themselves and possibly letting others down. Remember, when you say no to someone’s request, this doesn’t make you a bad person. It simply means you have a lot on your plate, and can possibly make everyone happy. In life, we have a limited amount of time each day, and can always get everything done that we’d like to. However, prioritizing things can help you knock off the important tasks on your list, and saying no further aids you in managing your time wisely. If someone gets hurt because you say no, remember that they have the responsibility to choose how they want to feel, and your response shouldn’t dictate their emotions.
- Always follow your heart – Empaths can often get swept up in the idea that they have to do what others want because they have a duty here to heal the planet and everyone on it. Empaths, in a way, have the qualities of the superhero, but often don’t take time to look after themselves properly. Never sacrifice your dreams just to please others; this won’t lead to fulfillment in the long term. Following your heart means bravely stepping into the path of your dreams, and not letting anyone stand in the way. Just focus on improving your own life and doing things that feel good to you, and this will help you become more assertive.
- See others as your equals – Empaths can easily suffer from an inferiority complex, or feeling less than others. They might feel they have a lower value or less to offer than other people, and therefore, it affects their jobs, relationships, and most every aspect of life. Remember that others have insecurities to; they just might not show them.
- Don’t be a people pleaser – People pleasing might seem harmless, but in reality, it can quickly become dangerous and self-destructive. When you try to bend over backwards to please everyone, you push your needs to the back burner, and doing this too much can make you feel exhausted. If you have high self-esteem, you’ll realize that you need to meet your own needs first before you can possibly take care of anyone else.
- Think about your own needs too – Just as we spoke about in the last point, you need to make time for self-care and self-love. You can always serve others and let your own energy become depleted. Remember, an empty container cannot fill another – meaning, you can’t help others if you don’t first help yourself.
- Speak up when you feel you’ve been mistreated – Don’t let others walk all over you and treat you however they see fit – have enough self-respect to confront them if you feel that someone else has crossed their bounds. You can still have a civil discussion with someone even if the topic of conversation isn’t necessarily pleasant. When you sit down and talk with someone to let them know that they disrespected you, this will go a long way in increasing your assertiveness.
- Take time to think about your responses – Don’t just say what you think people want to hear. If you don’t feel like getting dinner tonight with a friend, then say so. Slow down and think about your responses first before you just blurted out something that will please others; first ask yourself, “Is this really what I want to say or do?” If not, then reformulate your answer before you share it with others.
- If you don’t feel confident, just act like it anyway – The old “fake it till you make it” saying definitely applies here. If you start to act confidently, even if you don’t feel like it, you can trick your brain into making you think you have confidence. In fact, studies have shown that faking confidence can even help you get ahead in the workplace because it makes you seem competent, and bosses only go by what they see on the surface anyhow. In other aspects of your life, such as relationships, appearing confident can help empaths increase their self-esteem, and therefore, become more assertive. ~Power of Positivity